BREAKING NEWS: Corporate Slave Drinks Poison, Unable to Work the Next Day.
03 Mar 09 -- A group of corporate slaves met Monday night to celebrate an officemate's birthday. Only half of that number was known to have survived the night. Witnesses claim they saw crates of poison being carted to the scene. "I saw them cart off a crate of poison to that appartment. They did that three times! It's surprising anyone was left standing after that", says an anonymous witness. The poison in question was fermented barley, commonly known as Red Horse Grande. Scene of the crime operatives report that 18 liters of the poison was consumed by the group from 8pm till 1am the following day.
ShatterShards, a full-time corporate slave and part-time online ranter, was known to be in attendance in this event. Survivors to the massacre state that ShatterShards blacked out around midnight, and had to be cleaned off, when the poison took effect and he vomited on the kitchen sink, and all over himself. Witnesses claim that they saw someone who fits ShatterShards' description leave the scene around 10am, apparently still under the effects of the poison.
Interview with Corporate Slave Hall representatives reveals that ShatterShards filed, Monday night, for half-day leave on Tuesday morning, and was supposed to report to work in the afternoon. However, ShatterShards did not report to work as stated, and is still nowhere to be found.