Saturday, August 23, 2008


EyviCat and GentlePie celebrated their anniversary last August 1. Due to circumstances beyond my emotional control (meaning, I was a manic-depressive wreck), I wasn't able to do this article promptly. This has been a long outstanding project of mine, and so, even though it's delayed, I'm posting it here, now.

I’ve known EyviCat since the Meliora Eligo days, and GentlePie, well since EyviCat introduced us. Our first major trip with GentlePie was when we, along with Bleech and Bulldog, went to my province for some R&R. That was in 2005. Since then, we go out of town at least once every year. I’m looking forward for this year’s excursion.

GentlePie is easily impressed. That first trip of ours was nothing short of sensory overload for the poor creature. It was kind of amusing to see GentlePie’s reaction whenever I try to point out a valley or a beach barely visible from the road.

We didn’t have too many pictures during that trip. We were then only reliant upon EyviCat’s digicam and its short battery life. Camera whoring was not yet a lifestyle and obsession then. What I have are mental images of that trip, the strongest of which, of EyviCat and GentlePie walking along the beach, I tried putting into words to the best of my ability.

I wrote this piece the night we got back from the province, and sent it to them the moment I deemed it complete. I’m rededicating it to them now, in honor of their anniversary। Stay in love, you guys!


Untitled 16.10.05

Memory fails to compare another place as beautiful.

Angels must have come to give life to their voice,

Nurturing this untamed paradise.

Gathering the dusts of creation, embracing the waves;

Caressing it to perfection.

Amazement fills my being, my very core, my soul

Merging delight, desire, devotion

Arousing my urge to sing litanies of praise.

Green shallows turn to deepest blue

Onward to vast horizons of isles unnamed.

Nothing else could be more sublime

Going through the sands with your hand in mine...

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Shirking Responsibilities: Work Avoidance

I haven't been reporting to my other work for the past two weeks.

It's irresponsible and unacceptable, but somehow, I can't seem to care too much. Call it burn-out, call it bumming in, call it anything you like. I'm just tired.

Yes, I'm being selfish once again; looking out for my own comfort rather than the welfare of our team. I don't really have any valid excuse to defend myself and my untoward behavior. I'm once again driven to self-sabotage, and this is doubly wrong, for right now, it's not only me that is affected. I'm missing in action, and I'm letting other people bear the heat for my untimely disappearing act.

I am well aware of the complete and utter wrongness of my behavior, but I just can't make myself propel myself into action. And this has always been my problem: no matter how cerebral I let myself become, I am first and foremost ruled by emotion. If I don't feel like doing it, I tend to slack off, and vanish altoghether.

I hate it sometimes, but I can't seem to want to change.


Friday, August 15, 2008

Hello, Philippines, I don't know you that much...

My Lakbayan grade is C-!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out at Lakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Got this from Wendy's blog.

This is actually a higher grade than I would have expeceted, considering I'm such a house-bum. O, and look, I'm no longer land-locked to Luzon Island!

Yeah, I know, the grade's pathetic, but what do you expect from someone like me?


Monday, August 4, 2008

Rainy Days and Mondays

8:00 AM - I wake up to a heavy downpoar and a heavier heart. I don't know... The rains just have that effect on me. An unspeakable stupor descended on me; I decided to sleep than confront it.

10:00 AM - I wake up once again. I am late for work. I don't care. I'm feeling sluggish, but I no longer have the alibi of rain. The sky has cleared and a cold, healthy wind blows deliciously. Sun is shining on a beautiful day. I'm unaffected.

11:00 AM - I can no longer delay my going to the office. Monthend reporting is hard work during the best of times, no use aggavating the burden by letting my work pile up on me. I need to shower. Someone's messed with my things and I am missing my disposable razor. Going to work with 3 day's growth of facial hair is unacceptable. I use my back up blade, my labaha and managed to cut myself in three different locations. Good job.

12:00 NN - Eating lunch alone at a fastfood. My chicken nuggets taste like cardboard; good thing there's barbeque flavored dip to mask the taste. I need to get to the office now...

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Shirking Responsibilities: Movietime

I've been watching movies lately; too many, actually, especially for someone who professes to have too little time for liesure. Juggling two jobs which are both equally time-critical, and for the past months have been overly demanding of my time, I have now learned the best way to keep myself from imploding: DON'T SHOW UP.

More and more, I'm turning irresponsible, showing up late for work, or just not reporting at all. I know, it sounds childish, immature, and least of all, unprofessional; but given a choice between my sanity and my work, I believe I have chosen wisely.

I have two pet peeves: Books and Movies. Getting lost in either realm for hours at a time is a needed remedy for my weekly dose of reality and the rigors of 20-hour workdays. After Thursday's monthend vigil, I feel I deserve some liesurely rewards.

I went home early Friday night (I reported to work just half day) to reacquaint myself with my almost-lost loves, my books, and after a few chapters of my new read (Showdown, by Ted Dekker), I fell asleep. My ever-faithful moblie woke me up with its trilling, indicating an incoming message, and I was pleasantly surprised by Stitch's inviting me to a movie along with his group.

Thirty minutes later, I'm in Glorietta looking for the group who has my ticket. I haven't yet eaten then and I made the mistake of buying takeout from Wendy's. I made another mistake of falling in line on the counter that had the smaller queue of people. I the queue was short for good reason: the girl at the counter was woefully inept, and took her sweet time taking orders and serving the food. It didn't help that I'm strapped of time, with the movie starting in 15 minutes, and she taking 5 minutes per customer. I was fourth in line.

I fear that accounting for a food business, and entering the kitchens at least once a month had a negative effect on me: I am overly critical of services performed for me, and easily loose my patience when I see that service is slackening. My track record with food servers is long and colorful; my volley-friends can attest to that fact. Being hungry and late for my movie did not improve my mood when I got to the counter. And seeing three customers on the other aisle finish their transaction, while in my line, three people are still waiting for their takeout, my bitch-button took auto-pilot. Curtly, I asked said counter-girl to make an advance call of my order.

Lately, when I get frustrated over something, especially over my old computer in the office, I get into banging fits. Armrests, keyboards and desks are not spared my banging fits, my fists falling heavily on any surface, to relieve my head of mounting tension. Wendy's counter-girl met with the same reception. I was holding my wallet-pouch then when the banging fits started, and in sheer frustration, repeatedly slapped my wallet onto the counter, causing a mild scene, which in my impatience, I failed to appreciate fully.

It did me good, actually; my head was relieved of the mounting pressure, and counter-girl quicked her pace; finally moving at an acceptable speed for a fastfood personnel. She was displeased, and she made it known, tearing from me the money I was handing over. Had I been clasping the cash tight, we would have torn it in half. She didn't even give me the customary closing spiel when she unceremoniously handed me back my change.

But who cares about her, I had a movie to rush to.


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