I haven't been reporting to my other work for the past two weeks.
It's irresponsible and unacceptable, but somehow, I can't seem to care too much. Call it burn-out, call it bumming in, call it anything you like. I'm just tired.
Yes, I'm being selfish once again; looking out for my own comfort rather than the welfare of our team. I don't really have any valid excuse to defend myself and my untoward behavior. I'm once again driven to self-sabotage, and this is doubly wrong, for right now, it's not only me that is affected. I'm missing in action, and I'm letting other people bear the heat for my untimely disappearing act.
I am well aware of the complete and utter wrongness of my behavior, but I just can't make myself propel myself into action. And this has always been my problem: no matter how cerebral I let myself become, I am first and foremost ruled by emotion. If I don't feel like doing it, I tend to slack off, and vanish altoghether.
I hate it sometimes, but I can't seem to want to change.