Thursday, March 29, 2012

Ayala

“I’m doing this wrong, aren’t I?” 


You should have said that and tried to salvage what was left of the night. You should have never let go of that hand. You should have slowed your pace and tried to elongate the time spent walking sidewalk after empty sidewalk. 


Damn it, you should have run after, and kissed right then and there, instead of walking head down the other way. You missed your chance and you’ll regret it forever. Why did you have to over-think everything? 


“I like you the first time I met you, and I’d like to give us a try.” 


There. How hard was that to say? You’ve uttered more complicated phrases under your breath, and without even batting an eyelid; what’s stopped you from saying those little words? 


You are a chicken, a damned fool, and a coward. And you wasted far too many moments – far too many chances – trying to be “just friends” when in fact you wanted something more. 


Now it’s gone. Now it’s over. 


Now you have to move on and not wallow like the last time. 


Now you have to think forward, instead of thinking “what if.”



4 comments:

  1. No point in feeling bad about what-if's. It's either you try to make amends and actually do something about it. But if mulling, and stressing over it is your only repose, best get it out of your system.

    Cheer up dude. There will be other opportunities. :

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  2. @Red the Mod: Thanks, Red. This is actually part of the process. I've been over it for quite some time, but every once in a while, I need reminding. :-)

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  3. A sage once told me: "Don't hold on to burning questions. You'll get burnt." :-)

    The "what ifs" are the most vicious of burning questions, because they can burn you long after you're reduced to ashes.

    Glad to know you're over the whole ordeal, I'm sure you learned so much from it. :-)

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  4. @Mistersandiman: Thanks! I sure did learn from this one. It took a while, but the ordeal is done. But I every once in a while, some lingering memory pops up. :-)

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