Sunday, June 21, 2009


Personal effects are things of power. They imbibe in themselves the dreams and desires of the person who owns them. Etched within these vessels, deeper than the names engraved upon them, further into their core, are portions of the owner's soul. The creation and the creator are separate, but the artist and the tool are one. It is through the tool that dreams are made whole; realities are woven; illusions given form.

Three years ago, I lost my totem of power; my pencil. For the past three years, my well of inspiration seemed to dry up and shrivel, mourning the loss of that one peice of my being. For two years, that pencil and I have been inseparable; conducting passions, weaving shadows, and turning it into cohesive thoughts and words. Most of these works are personal and will never see the light of day; some of them lost, burried in the dusts of the forgetful past; but I am proud of them, nonetheless. They have sprung within me and through me, they were given life, if even for a moment. The loss of my pencil; my wand; my staff; signaled the start of my diminishing dreams, my fabled fancies.

I'm still searching for that lost tool of creation; my muse; my song. But this time, I am hopeful. Though the object is lost, I realized that the source of its power has never left my side. It resides within the person and not the tool. So long as the core remains intact, the sense of wonder unspoilt, I will be able to bend reality to my will. We are the masters of our fate, and we will move mountains.

All we have to do is act.


  1. well said. although i must admit that some tools really work wonder than others. like during exams, i have a fave pen and i feel uneasy if i use a different pen. maybe its psychology but hey, life is full of wonders isn't it?

  2. Yeah, we just have to make do with what's procurable.

    P.S. I also lost my pen five days ago in my mom's office. I'm not being mayabang here but it's worth 2K, it's been with me for 3 years already kaya nalulungkot ako. :(

  3. "Though the object is lost, I realized that the source of its power has never left my side.">>>so true! this i think is a common realization.

  4. I hope you find your pencil soon. Your post reminds me of an article I read once in a magazine. They featured haute couture pencils made by Prada, DKNY, Tommy Hilfiger, etc. Man, they looked good! I think Prada got the highest mark.

  5. Nawala man ang pencil mo, maraming alternative. :)
    Pahihiramin kita ng pentelpen ko. permanent pa. :)


    Matagal ng wala si Tiyo Marco. Wala rin may alam kung nasan na mga painting nya.

  6. Be it a tangible or intangible one, or even a person, anything in this world could serve as an inspiration, a source of power as you say and as a lucky charm for some.. I just hope I could find one..

    Dont worry maybe your pen wanted you to realize that sometimes there's a time to let go..

  7. @ Lawstude: True, I also used to have those; one mechanical pencil and one ballpoint pen (both parker) that I always use for reviewing and answering exams. Sadly, I've lost both.

    @ Ken: Too bad about your pen! The longer one item is with you, the more attached you become with it, and I can just imagine your anxiety for losing it. That, and the fact that it almost cost you an arm to purchase. hehe

    @ Dong: It takes different people varying lengths of time to realize that. It took me three. hehe

    @ Angel: Thanks for the affirmation! :-D

    @ Andy: I think I'd much sooner buy an new mechanical pencil than be able to find the old one, as it's been too long. Haute couture pencils? Sounds uber expensive! hehe

    @ Acrylique: True, there are alternatives, I just can't seem to force myself to buy one. Thanks for the pentel pen!

    @ Homer: True, there are other sources of inspiration, but like Lawstude said, some tools work wonders more than others. What I need is to get myself a new power item to use. hehe

  8. I was really depressed. It's like I lost a part of me. I wasn't functioning well. *sob*

  9. I like the poetry in your writing. I am of the belief that creator and creation are one, as artist and tool are. So I absolutely understand this. A few months ago, my camera passed away. *sniff*

  10. @ Ken: You did loose a part of yourself when you lost that pen. Three years together is a long time.

    At least you can still form cohesive thoughts, and write during your state of depression. I do not have that ability and it aggravates my low state that I cannot express my feelings. Writing my thoughts down somehow eases my extreme states.

    @ Aldrin: Thanks, Aldrin, and welcome to my hobbit hole. I sympathize with the loss of your camera. I'm sure you two had wonderful times together, and he will surely be missed.

  11. Oooh, hobbit hole! I like! :)

    Thanks. He has now been replaced with a new one but still, the first one can be hard to forget.

  12. @ Aldrin: I'm glad you approve. :-)

    It's good that you now have a new companion. You two would just have get acquainted, and let the good times roll. hjehe

  13. this is really true for every artists who express themselves by way of words or visuals.


  14. @ Nobe: True. It even applies to people who aspires to be labelled as artist. hehe


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