Thursday, July 24, 2008


For years now, I've been looking for that song that would make my life complete. That one special song inside me that would define who and what I am; that would tell my story, and would unravel my secrets. I thought I've found it before, but I guess I was mistaken. I have formalized it in my heart and mind, and was finally mustering the courage to write it down for the world to hear; but then it fizzled. I tried all I could to salvage even parts of it, but the more I try to grasp it, the more I lost it.

I've spent the past couple of years trying to recall it, to revive it; but I guess, it's impossible. You can never revive a song when the words have failed you; when the underlying emotions have gone.

I tried finding my song in all the wrong places, thinking that other writers would be able to fill in the words that was lost; but I'm mistaken. No other writers could hope to finish my song. They may be able to contribute a line or two; at times a whole stanza; but it isn't in them to finish, and to make right. Ultimately, their words lack that magic -- that lasting quality -- that I am searching.

Thus I try to come back to my first inspiration. Unfortunately, lightning never strikes the same spot twice; and my muse have gone away, leaving me in this turmoil.

I'm still looking for my song; the one to make me complete. That melody and verve that will illuminate all secrets; that one Ray of Light that will clear away the absurdities in Life.

I need to look deeper inward to find the music and the words. I need to find my inspiration; The Inspiration; and maybe -- hopefully -- I would get the song right. And be able to enjoy it before my curtains fall...

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