I don’t deny that my emotional investment in you is a great factor in why I am affected this way. There was, after all, a spark there, once upon a time; I was only fool enough, and scared enough, not to have fanned it.
___
You’ve set your priorities and I agree with them. I do have my own priorities as well. But it caught me unawares that you would have to think that solution as the best course for the both of us. Even then, I could have taken it in stride, but why the sudden silence? We don’t see each other as much as we would like, but being incommunicado on top of that stings, and it’s an almost physical hurt.
I know I share part of the blame, with my inconsistencies, but your decision to cut ties have left a bad taste in my mouth. And a thorn upon my chest.
___
You are the ideal: wit that surpasses my own; physique that elicits envy; sex drive that is the stuff of fantasy; all wrapped up in a pretty package that exudes confidence. And with my emotions shot as it is, you are the unwitting vessel for my unfocused affections. Intelligent as you are, it’s impossible that this have gone past your notice.
To understate the matter, I find you interesting. But my fatal flaw is pride and it would be long before I admit my feelings. Long enough to miss my chance, if there ever was one.
___
You are my closest friend and the baby brother I never had. We’ve had our history and I’m happy that we’ve resolved it, and strengthened our friendship in the process. You know my dark thoughts and secrets yet still chose to be friends. You don’t know how grateful I am for that.
You have bloomed beautifully from the first time I saw you, and I am happy for you. I can only envy you and live vicariously through your life – on certain aspects of it, at least.
Or: Maybe it isn't too late yet. Just saying. :)
ReplyDelete@ Victor: Which one isn't? :-)
ReplyDeleteThere was, after all, a spark there, once upon a time; I was only fool enough, and scared enough, not to have fanned it.
ReplyDeleteYou left me speechless, which is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while, long time no hear, hehe
@ Victor: Oh, that. Trust me, that one has gone kaput a long time ago. :-)
ReplyDelete@ Visual Velocity: Err, thanks, I guess. hehe. Yeah, I've been quiet for quite some time. I'm glad I can write again. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think I can guess the third Blind Item. Easy. Haha Good Job! =)
ReplyDelete@ Ahmer: Blind item? Showbiz? Anuba, I'm talking to people in this post, about stuff I wouldn't normally talk about. No blind items there. hehe :p
ReplyDeleteSorry =)
DeleteI wonder what would happen if you actually told them what you really thought. Or if people generally told other people how they really felt. There's beauty in your truth here even though to the wrong ears, they may seem sharp. :P
ReplyDelete@ Ahmer: No harm done. Drama lang. haha! ;-)
ReplyDelete@ Citybouy: some truths lose their sharpness the moment you give voice to them. And they do know. I've told them as much, but not in the same manner as this post. This is just me making arte. haha! :-)
ReplyDelete"This is just me making arte. haha! :-)"
ReplyDeleteKaloka! I suddenly imagined you in all bushy eyebrowed glory adapting a Kris Aquino tone. Chaka!
@ Citybouy: Are you like saying I'm chaka? Gosh, I so hate you na....
ReplyDeletehaha! :p