I don’t deny that my emotional investment in you is a great factor in why I am affected this way. There was, after all, a spark there, once upon a time; I was only fool enough, and scared enough, not to have fanned it.
You’ve set your priorities and I agree with them. I do have my own priorities as well. But it caught me unawares that you would have to think that solution as the best course for the both of us. Even then, I could have taken it in stride, but why the sudden silence? We don’t see each other as much as we would like, but being incommunicado on top of that stings, and it’s an almost physical hurt.
I know I share part of the blame, with my inconsistencies, but your decision to cut ties have left a bad taste in my mouth. And a thorn upon my chest.
You are the ideal: wit that surpasses my own; physique that elicits envy; sex drive that is the stuff of fantasy; all wrapped up in a pretty package that exudes confidence. And with my emotions shot as it is, you are the unwitting vessel for my unfocused affections. Intelligent as you are, it’s impossible that this have gone past your notice.
To understate the matter, I find you interesting. But my fatal flaw is pride and it would be long before I admit my feelings. Long enough to miss my chance, if there ever was one.
You are my closest friend and the baby brother I never had. We’ve had our history and I’m happy that we’ve resolved it, and strengthened our friendship in the process. You know my dark thoughts and secrets yet still chose to be friends. You don’t know how grateful I am for that.
You have bloomed beautifully from the first time I saw you, and I am happy for you. I can only envy you and live vicariously through your life – on certain aspects of it, at least.