Work has never been more interesting as it has this past year. It has spawned numerous blog posts and still more thoughts that failed to launch out of the cerebellum. Not that it was scandalous enough to be put on paper, I was just too preoccupied to even formulate the words.
With innumerable ups and downs, calling this year colorful seems blase and understated.
During the first week of December, I was given an email that put to light everything that has transpired during the last few months of the year. Such a simple memo drove to home the gravity of my situation more than any panel or luncheon meeting that ever involved my presence. I was riven from my mental bauble long enough to appreciate the mess that I was in; the same mess that I thrust myself into.
Suffice it to say that the information in this one simple memorandum jarred me into finally committing to that one option I have been contemplating on and off for the greater part of the past two years.
I seem to be the type that would always go with the flow; accepting things as they are, and adjusting myself to the situation. But sometimes, an undercurrent, deeper and far stronger than the visible flow, compels me to negate the usual, accepted norms of doing and thus offer much resistance.
In high school, we were taught that Voltage (E) is the product of the Current (I) multiplied by the Resistance (R), or E = I * R. Simply put, electricity is produced when the flow of electrons are met with resistance. Veering from Electro-Electrical studies, Creativity is produced when the need is met with obstacles. Necessity, as they say, it the mother of all invention, and when there are hindrances to what you need, therein sparks the the creativity needed to surpass the obstacles presented.
Such a grand notion, indeed. But then, what if the obstacle is within you? What if, instead of the flow, the Current, you have become the Resistance? Therein lies the problem, for creative inspiration should stem from the person, not the obstacle to creation.
I was offered an opportunity to create, in a manner of speaking, but I resisted. I tried to find in me the drive I needed, but instead found in me more hindrances. Thus, I failed to spark and sparkle in a way that I know I can.
Pressure turns soft limestone into beautiful, enduring marble; it turns dark coal into cold, hard diamonds. But this same pressure can turn basalt into sand; and precious crystals into nothing more than dust. I am pressured, and from there stemmed my resistance. And resistance, when it stems from within, is counterproductive. It is self-restricting and stifling.
This, in turn, brings us back to the memo at hand, and how it has jarred me out of inaction. It is still too early to tell what my action would be, but suffice it to say that the decision to act has finally been set.