Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Anyone and Anything

When I was younger, I had such a vivid imagination that I was able to create for myself three alter egos.  These alter egos each have slightly different personalities and slightly different powers.  Yes, these other-selves have powers -- magical, mystical and otherworldly powers.  They can summon dragons and other mythical creatures; they have weapons powered by mystic gems and the like; they can fly, teleport, move things with their mind.

They are eager companions during boring classes and long trips.  They are heroes of long unwritten adventures.  Most importantly, they were tools for retaliation against school bullies.  In my mind's eye, I see my alter egos use their powers to torment and torture my foes almost to the brink of death and nurse them back to health to torture them some more.  Many an afternoon were spent imagining new and elaborate tortures to my very real tormentors.  It may sound weak, but it was loads better than following them home and introducing them to the business end of a hammer.  I didn't want to be expelled.

School ended and imaginary friends faded.  And ShatterShards became the amalgamation of those three alter egos.  He lost the powers but gained a voice.  My voice.  The voice I use to bitch and rant about my problems; the voice I employ to ridicule my mundane experiences; the voice I muster to give form to my thoughts.  But no matter what aspect I use, it's still my voice, and a facet of my personality.  

It is still inherently me.

And not some mere fabrication.  It does not, however, compute that I am my blog nor my twitter account.  Though they may be facets of my personality, it can not and will not paint a complete picture of me.  But it is still me.

But the internet is a funny thing.  You can reinvent yourself and no one will be the wiser.  But like many technologies, it is its own boon and bane.  In your quest for reinvention, you may forget your self, and the webs of lies you weave may be the death of you.

But on the telephone line
I am anyone
I am anything I want to be
I can be a super model or
Norman Mailer
And you wouldn't know the difference
Or would you?

Who's to say now if the friends you've amassed are friends with you or with the persona you built around you?  And will they trust you again once the travesty of lies and half-truths have been unearthed?  I do not have the answer to that for I fear to tread it.

When I was little, I used to have such vivid imagination that I was able to conjure up imaginary personas for myself.  But it stayed where it should, which is inside my mind, because life is already too bizarre and grotesque as it is for my mental conjurings to add to the fray.



  1. There was a time when I was writing on 4 different blogs. All of them were obviously written by the same person if one would pay attention to the writing style, but they kind of represent different personas. I can be mean in one, nice in another, sarcastic, bitchy. It was fun. Tapos nakakasawa rin. Haha.

    At talagang nagkwento lang ako dito. :))

    1. @ Miss Pataki: Oo nga, ang hirap mong hanapin before, paiba-iaba ka ng site! It's fun to do, and seeing people wonder if there are connections between the blogs can be amusing. It's not sustainable though, and it can get tiring once prolonged.

  2. andami namn clues sa post na ito!hahaha

    basta ko, what u see is what you blog is my diary...its a compilation of my life.

    pero tama ka...people might create or be who they wanna be, for this world is powerful and magical.

    1. @ Mac: Clues? Parang Da Vinci Code lang ba? Unfortunately, di mo makikita ang tomb ni Mary Magdalene after this quest. haha!

      My blog is a diary of sorts for me as well, but that is no excuse for me to air out dirty laundry in this venue.


Can't stand the craziness?



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