Finally, I'm online again! Thanks to my friend Chance who offered to have my lappy fixed, I can once again enjoy my late night hours browsing site upon site of comic strips, manga, anime and blogs! No more waiting for sleep to come at night, now I can pass out in front of my computer as should be proper.
As I understand it, the problem was caused by one of my anti-virus programs. Apparently, it blocked my internet access in its zeal to protect me from infection. That's why none of the troubleshooting tips I was given seemed to work; It really didn't touch on the problem at hand.
Now I have my lappy back, its hard drive reformatted, my files intact, and a new arsenal of anti-virus and malware detectors to protect me from harm. No need to buy a new lappy, which is good, because I don't yet have the money for that expenditure.