Shirking Responsibilities: Will

I seldom get sick ... at least before, I seldom did. Lately, it seems that I'm such easy prey. I forget to take my vitamins for just one day, and lo and behold! the next day, I have the colds. I stay away from cold water; in fear of my tonsil acting up; that I find myself no longer craving for such fancy. Chocolates are the worst! Every bar I take needs to be watered down with at least two glasses or I suffer from sore throat the next day.

For the past four years, I have been host to various illnesses with one common denominator: Infection of the throat. I'm popping pills here and there, but I fear that they no longer work.

This poses a problem come monthend (like right now) for the deadlines do not move. Sick or not, we need to finish on the date, for there is absolutely no excuse for being late. I used to be able to "schedule" my being sick during our slack week, meaning, the week with the least amount of deadlines, but lately, it seems that I no longer have that ability. Lately, I'm becoming sick during our hectic week, and I can't do anything about it.

By doing anything, I mean still reporting to work in spite of the sickness. What is a cold or a headache in the major scope of things, after all? Copious amounts of water and some pills are enough of a match to that ... at least it used to. Now, being sick means being unable to stand. Being able to concentrate on work, therefore, is out of the question.

It all boils down to will, I figure. I used to have so much of it that I can, through sheer mental command, push sickness away, or, if already sick, focus all my energies into moving along and ignoring whatever affliction there is to get the job done. Just mere concentrated effort and the illness is defeated.

Where has all that determination gone to, I wonder? I wish I could find it again; and soon...